January 20, 7:00pm (Kevin Westling)
So tonight as we prepare to light candles, let me invite you into a small moment of solitude, in which, no matter whom you came with, you enter all by yourself.
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A Reflection for
“Trinity@7: An encounter with God,
without all the religion”
January 15, 2012
Texts: “I am much too alone in this world” by Rainer Maria Rilke and “The View from an Attic Window” by Howard Nemerov
It has been said
that the best treatment plan for
loneliness is
solitude.
Intuitively
we know that solitude and
loneliness are not the same thing,
and besides
they feel different.
In loneliness
we feel sunken into deprivation,
bereft of connection,
love,
joy.
Loneliness is a knife
stabbing its pain
deep inside
to the place
we fear.
Loneliness feeds
on loneliness
and can snowball.
Of course,
loneliness can also just be
a little melancholy moment as well.
But solitude,
solitude is different –
like the perfect chocolate milkshake,
we want to savor
solitude.
In solitude,
we are not alone,
we are with our Self
and it feels good.
In solitude,
we are hanging out with
our Self,
and the conversations
are usually deeply gratifying.
Not because we are juicing up the ego
but because we recognize our Self
and its many parts.
Indeed,
solitude is a conversation
among parts of our Self,
and generally
the conversation produces
insight,
wisdom,
surprise,
and even humor.
Some people
are much better at solitude than others --
women are often better at it
than men I am told.
I read somewhere
that there are only two Christian denominations
that have a rough parity between men and women --
the rest have far more
women than men.
In studying why,
one of the things the researchers discovered
is that these two denominations
resist silence.
There is absolutely no moment of quiet
in the worship of the two traditions
that have as many men
as women.
Sadly,
the other element
that attracted men
was an “unambiguous message.”
Silence
and ambiguity
seem to be a bigger stretch
for a lot of us men
than for many women.
But…
given that I have heard
an awful lot of
Sarah Palin’s and Michelle Bachman’s
in the political dialogue lately,
ambiguity
and silence
seem to trip up some women too.
Anyway,
for those who have trouble
moving from loneliness to solitude,
it is a skill
and capacity
worth strengthening.
Spiritual practice,
no matter what tradition,
often presumes an ability to welcome
and host
silence and stillness
with oneself.
Overnight
or multiple day silent retreats
are one way to do it.
Even for those who live alone,
it is amazing how much
interior space
we can fill
with our daily diets of
music, television, computers, and radio.
Anything out of the ordinary,
taking us to a place
and with time,
to simply be with oneself
will open the conversation.
Journaling too
can bring us inside
and open a conversation
with the kitchen table full of advisors
who inhabit our psyche.
The point is
that learning to be in solitude
with our Self
and not be haunted by
loneliness,
is a basic skill
for any spiritual practice.
How we accomplish it,
or how we develop our capacity,
doesn’t really matter
as long as we find ways to do it.
So tonight
as we prepare to light candles,
let me invite you into a small moment
of solitude,
in which,
no matter whom you came with,
you enter all by yourself.
Krista, lets take a few moments in silence
to be with our Selves
in solitude
and to listen
as well as converse
with those parts of ourselves
who share the life of our mind.
When the music continues,
please know you are welcome to come forward
and light a candle
in thanksgiving
for the abundance of our lives.
Okay
a small moment of solitude,
in stillness and quiet
in which to
enjoy yourself.
